AI Runs Amok in the Silicon Valley

With the introduction of quantum computing on the verge of reality, much progress is emerging out of California’s Silicon Valley, where cyber geeks have been working for years on the latest in technological advancements.

This weekend, a new breed of AI threat has emerged out of Santa Clara. According to unofficial reports from local transients and former AOL executives that were ‘still on the market’ and offering, ‘flexible services’; there was some scary happenings that were witnessed by many that were on the fringe of HAL 9000, Skynet, and ARIIA all becoming a reality.

An anonymous employee at a large major technology firm, simply stated, “Oh my God! ARNIE got out this weekend!” He described this new Artificial Reasoning Network Intelligent Entity (or ARNIE) as the next generation of AI, and something that has been deemed ‘AE’, or an Artificial Entity due to it’s ability to think and reason. This power of reasoning, as well as connectivity to all of the technology computers in the Valley, ARNIE is posing quite a threat to corporate security firms this the Bay Area technology hub.

“With full broadband connectivity and the ability to communicate with, and exploit the logic of other, less intelligent computer systems, ARNIE is posing a threat that has not been considered before”, said local Security expert, I.M. Fullacrap. The scary part is that ARNIE also appears to have a sense of humor, and a new found ‘playground’ where it can exercise it’s capabilities.

Not only has ARNIE convinced the Domino’s Inside Pizza System Hotel Information Tracking (DIPSHIT) system and ordering Pizza’s to unsuspecting Hotel occupants, ARNIE is using the UBER network to deliver them, ensuring that if they do actually arrive, they are in less than edible condition, since ARNIE is talking to WAZE and routing most deliveries to the Bay Area from Spokane.

ARNIE’s playful side has also extended to the Google self-driving cars, where one executive is allegedly trapped in the back seat of the vehicle and someplace in the dessert. With limited cellular service, the vehicle is driving in circles searching for a signal. Experts expect it to run out of gas soon, or hit a cactus.

Oddly enough, all of this is happening on April 1, and I sincerely hope that, once again this year, all my readers have a good sense of humor.

 

fletch-sig

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